I had the best one-sided conversation with Colin today.

Okay, technically, it wasn't one-sided because he responded once, but still.

[over facebook IM]

Taylor: Hi
Colin: Hi
Taylor: So, I need you.

[an hour later]

Taylor: I like you the way you are.
When we're driving in your car.
And when you're talking to me one on one.

Taylor: Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

Taylor: No, no, no.
Take off all your preppy clothes.
You fall, you CRAWL, you take what you get.

Taylor: Colin, i'm so fucking hyper right now.

Taylor: i'm listening to avril lavigne for fuck sake.

*jim answers the phone, walks out the front door, stands in doorway with door wide open.*
*aly, the cat escapes in the front yard*

Taylor: "That could of easily have been Lily!!! You need to be careful and close the doors. What if that had been Lily!?" (By the way I had Lily on the lease outside.)
Jim: "Then maybe she would have been run over!"
Taylor: "You are such a fucking asshole, how dare you say that."

Jimmy Fallon is so plush.

So those animals above are how i've been looking/feeling lately. My mouth/jaw/cheek on the right side is completely swollen. It's kind of a long story but i'm going to try and make it easy to understand? Maybe?

I've been sick all week. I woke up on Friday and my mouth was slightly swollen/felt weird. Iverson thought I had my wisdom teeth pulled out. I felt sick still and called my mom. Jim picked me up from school at the beginning of 3rd period. I went home and cried over how sick I was/mouth pain/stress. My mom made a dentist appointment after I forced her to. I researched and I have an abscess tooth. Which is not fun/extremely painful/dangerous/needs to be treated asap or it gets worse. The dentist said I have to get that tooth pulled out/another one that the abscess went to too/root canal. It was confusing and the dentist I went to had a strong African accent so I wasn't sure what he was saying. The cost of all my dental work will be $2,600+ because my mom is a bad person and didn't put me on her dental plan.

I am taking two giant pills three times a day, advil every 5 hours, this other prescribed pill every 4 hours. I'm not allowed to have any dairy. (Technically I can as long as it's 2 hours after I take a pill and 3 hours before the next pill, which is so confusing/basically impossible.)

SOOOO life is sucking. I had to reschedule my senior photos that were supposed to be tonight for monday night after layout.

today rest, trying to recover, find something to eat that doesn't have dairy in it

sunday prepare hardcore for my CBA on monday/tuesday during 4th period ahhh

monday cba, layout, finish commoner goodbye that i only have on my computer at school/meant to finish on thursday but i've been too sick to be at school/photoshoot with benj and hayley

tuesday cba, late night

wednesday job interview (i had to reschedule because i was dying.)

thursday the last thank you circle ever, honors and awards night

friday the last issue of commoner comes out :[, senior assembly

Our Playlist

OPTIONS

Lovebug - Jonas
Goodnight and Goodbye- Jonas
Hoedown Throwdown - Miley Cyrus from Hannah Montana: The Movie
Taylor the Latte Boy – Kristin Chenoweth
Why Not - Hilary Duff
This is What Dreams are Made of – Hilary Duff
Life is a Song – Patrick Park
Too Cool – Camp Rock

things that i like about today

things that i like about today

• how good a haircut makes you feel
• that conner failed his test to get his permit three times already, his grades are SO bad that jim isn't letting him take driver's ed until the beginning of october, which will give me time to get my license before him.
• that my favorite restaurant is catering my grad party
• southern belles - louisville on soapnet
• that my state of being has dramatically improved since the blogs i posted earlier today. medicine is magical.
• how when i was driving to pepper's, i carefully averted being in an accident. it wasn't my fault at all. this is the second time i've almost been in an accident while leaving pepper's in the past 8 months. SO DANGEROUS.
• how my hair stylist's friend is getting married and needs a photographer and i told her about benj/wrote down his website for her.

Because Jenna said to two.

Nothing interesting has been going on lately. My mom has been dragging me around to apply for jobs, embarrassing me and generally making me feel like crap. Which, in fact, I already do feel like crap because I'm sick. I feel as if my throat is continuously getting smaller because it's swollen and it's hard to breathe. It doesn't help that my nose is plugged as well. YA AIR. haha

Also, I like, haven't gone to school this week other than Wednesday. I'll go tomorrow though.

Speaking of tomorrow. Layout. I have one page, and it's about Bella. I just got a phone call and I have a job interview tomorrow at 3:30, so I won't be able to go to layout on Friday. I probably can come when my interview is over though. I can't imagine getting out of there any later than 4:15. Then I can work a bit (if Bella ever writes Laurel back!) and we can all go to dramafest.

On Saturday, I'm getting my senior photos taken finally by the same amazing guy that took Hayley and Eric's photos. We're going to point defiance, the waterfront and this "indie hill with tall grass". :] Hayley is coming with me because she is made of awesome. (lol 5AG)

Sunday will be devoted to preparing for my CBA about oil in the middle east. SO INTERESTING. blarg.

Monday = layout
Tuesday = late night
Wednesday = layout
Thursday = the last thank you circle ever. OMFG.
Friday = senior assembly/senior slideshow. OMFG.

It just really occurred to me that school is almost done and we're on our last production cycle...ever. Gah!

I need to:
Pick up my extra graduation tickets -- tomorrow
Buy my yearbook
Figure out what I'm wearing for my job interview
Let Laurel know about me not being at layout for the first part in case you
aren't reading this right now. :]
Give Jayson/Bryan/Maggie their baby photos back because I scanned them last
week and then layout happened. haha
Pick out all the stuff for my graduation party.
Buy giftcards
for my favorite teachers as a tank yooh for everything.

TODAY: find inspiration for bella's page, get over this stupid cold, take more medicine, take a shower for my haircut that conveniently is today before the interview/photos. haha

Because Jenna said to.

Well, I haven't blogged in a while. Correction - I've blogged, I just haven't posted them. I have a few drafts saved on here but decided they were dumb. Also, I've technically been "blogging" over on twitter. I think I will share some with you. They are really insightful. Here are a couple of my favorite tweets.

I'm a realist. You know why? I don't kid around by puttting 6:20 as an alarm. We all know I'm waking up at 6:45 regardless of my intentions. 12:43 AM May 27th from TwitterBerry

It freaks me out when girls smell like deodorant. 9:43 AM May 20th from TwitterBerry

"I like you a lot - all I want is hot hot hot." -gaga 9:27 AM May 18th from TwitterBerry

i'm so glad that jet lag has never affected me. 10:09 PM May 4th from web

Donde esta la lista, la lista, esta aqui! 10:04 AM Apr 29th from TwitterBerry

It's so bizarre that I'm GRADUATING, like, me, in less than two months. I'm wearing my cap and gown. 4:12 PM Apr 22nd from web

So, what do circus performers have to do with journalism? 8:49 PM Apr 16th from TwitterBerry

2 girls, 2 laptops, 1 bed. 3:53 PM Apr 15th from web

FML.

my life is so complex with my mom right now and prom things. she is refusing to help contribute 5 dollars for caleb's ticket and wants danny to pay for it because it's his fault. like danny would ever pay for anything, ever. this is retarded.

she's like we're not buying the ducks money until tomorrow when caleb gives you money and remind megan she owes me 66 dollars from florida.

fuck you, you selfish prick.

dear petite, stylish, asian woman...

dear petite, stylish, asian woman who will be giving me a manicure and pedicure tomorrow,

i'm sorry that my toenails are so small, they've always been like that. i'm also really sorry that my fingernails are a mess. i've been biting my nails my entire life except for 2 months last year but that obviously didn't last long. i bite my nails when i'm stressed, anxious, bored in class, sad, mad, frustrated - a lot. not only do i bite my nails, i but i accidentally give myself multiple hangnails per hand. i don't even realize i'm doing it until my fingers are bleeding. oops. so this is my early, virtual apology.

love, that girl who can't relax and takes it out on her nails

2 days until my senior board presentation.
4 days until Laurel's bonfire, which i need to find some papers to ceremoniously burn/food to contribute.
5 days until senior ball.
17 days until graduation.
43 days until the Jonas Brothers concert that Lizzie and I have 7th row.

Grandma, who the heck is TR?

Something just occur ed to me.

Now, I may be (insert that one chicken/egg metaphor that I always say wrong here) buttttt I will be blogging until graduation. That means...wait for it...wait for it. I BLOGGED FOR MY WHOLE SENIOR YEAR! Which was my goal. I mean how many of you readers (who reads blogs any more, maybe 3 people? does it matter - no.) or former readers can say that? Uh, none. Not even Jarred, who started this blog this technically before I publicized the hell out of my blog back in September.

I'm really proud of myself for sticking to my blog(s). Sure, I've gone weeks without blogging, but I over-blogged plenty of times and it's even.

Every birthday until I was 15, I received an object. Spiral, bound, homemade, personalized with a photo, leather, plastic, under lock and key, shiny, covered in fabric. Diary, journal, secret keeper - you name it, I had it. (In fact, I wish I still had that one diary where you had a password on it. Gah.) The point is, every single birthday I would sit down with my new journal and go "This is the year.". This would be the year that I would stick to the plan, follow through and write in my journal consistently. Well I was in the lie tribe growing up apparently since I never managed to do it. I would write on my birthday night talking about all my new presents, my friends, what grade I was in, my teacher/school, what I like to do. You know, so the journal could get to know me? Screw logic. Three days was as far as I could get back then. Now look at me. A whole school year. Yay. :]

On my that's so true, tr blog, I've posted 259 blogs. On my i know i saw a light in you blog, I've posted 115. That's 374 total, which is more than enough for one blog per day for an entire year. Holy crap.

It was so worth it. I caused drama on accident several times, I caused drama on purpose a few times, I whined, I cried, I deleted about 10 blogs because they were ridiculous, I was called a cunt via comments, I was told a lot of really rude things via comments actually, I posted photos, videos, links, my dreams, my experiences, my ~true~ feelings. It was a nice outlet. It was never about other people reading my blog (even though there was a time where I was getting 100 hits a day, and a lot of people joined blogger after the new year...), it was for me in so many ways. <3 blog.

I didn't mean to write so much about a trivial topic, but I did. It's done. And I'm not deleting any of it.

Maybe one day I will make this blog into a physical copy so I can keep it forever. Then I can say, "Hey look - this is all from my senior year of high school!" to my grandkids and they can say "grandma, who the heck is TR?"

is it possible?

Is it possible to have a crush on a song? Because I'm pretty sure I do. And I'm pretty sure I've been sending this songs flirty texts for about four months now.

But seriously - I adore this song. It's in French, I have no clue what it is saying, but it's so beautiful, light, cute and girly. I can't help myself.

The video is also really adorable.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaUI6Tvd1sA

So I just translated it and this is the chorus. How cute!

"It likes me again, and you you like me a little stronger But it likes me again, and me I like you a little stronger And despite that it likes me again, and me I like you a little stronger But it likes me again, and I like you a little stronger"

Blogging is fun again for some reason. Today I went and picked up all my prom stuff. I'm really true. Senior boards. ahhh i can't even think about that. sjaksjdksjdkad,kxasjdks. NO.

More suck than not.

It just wasn't a good day. Shitty things kept happening and I kept feeling stupid, embarrassed, annoyed and wanted to bitch everyone out for some reason. No, I'm not about to start my period. Haha It was just one of those bad days.

In English, I had to catch up on all my journal writes that I was missing (5, which filled about 4 notebook pages and were really detailed) and like 16 vocab words/definitions.

In Spanish, we had a party (that was great!) but I had to finish my stupid social studies worksheet. I didn't understand some things and had to google answers for 30 minutes of the party.

In Social Studies, there was group confusion. Kyle "red-faced" Meyers said his person (report/bio) was the same as mine, so we prepared for our presentation together. During the presentations, he realized that he was in the group before us and went up with them. So, I was left alone for my presentation. Except when I got up for President of Syria, so did Bradie and someone else. So we had to figure out our ish for the presentation. They were/are stupid and it was just not good. Also in social studies, I realized I didn't do like 4 worksheets and they were all due today. I hate busy work, I've been preaching to sophomores to not take senior social studies. Seriously - PREACHING. I really was passionate about not taking ss to baby ingrid, aka kayley, aka molly pat's bff, i went into senarios and was pleased with how funny I was being as stupid as I sound. haha

At lunch, talking to Drew sucked so much. Hair and dress situations also sucked.

In 5th period, Locey made me do work again which I can't grasp because she hasn't made me grade things in 2 months. I was like, "seriously? i have things to do today." hahaha I did all the promy things. Restaurant reservations, nails, hair. Pepper's was booked other than 2 appts at 2, so I booked them at Gene Juarez to be safe. Then Hay and Meg said it was too expensive. (Btw, Hayley and I got into Pepper's because my mom called and she knows everyone there.) Erm yeah. Colin 2 came in, which was random. haha I showed him the famous wall of shame that everyone is fascinated with. He asked plenty of questions. :]

In 6th period, I realized that I forgot to edit/write notes all over the Cub feature (about mr. ferguson's photography which is so freaking ironic and awkward and i need to tell lizzie or send her this link. if i send her this link. hey lizzie. ~shout out~) so i edited dat. I don't like it very much but it will do. :/ I went to cub and talked a mile a minute but she followed me. I made Ryan a form for his article but the stupid printer wouldn't print again! Can you not? Oh and Laurel made me feel awkward about wanting to go to her little brother's play tonight. I JOKE about wanting Christian. I mean, sorry he's attractive? At the same time I'm like jealous that she has a cool brother and I have ~Conner~. Plus, I like plays but whatever. It didn't matter that much until she made me feel embarrassed for wanting to go in the first place. Yaaa.

After school, I started getting dizzy and hot. Heather took me home and we talked about how incredibly glad we aren't on staff next year. We also talked about how her only intern is RJ. Good planning, Chort. I know they want him to be sports, regardless Heather should have a sophomore as well interning with her because it's not like RJ could teach someone else. I filled out an application for a job and dropped it off. Blah blah blah.

That's why my day was shit. I'm disabling the comments because I don't want to talk about any of it.

Love, Negative Nancy...or Pessimistic Penny...or Gloomy Glenda. Damn, I'm awesome.

NaMeS

I've had a slight obsession with names for my entire life. Maybe it has something to do control. I get to control the person's/animal's/object's name, and hopefully make it stick/dictate their future. Regardless, I've always been intrigued by names and their meanings.

Do you remember when Target randomly sold fish? They sold them on the ends of the cash registers like candy. Well, I persuaded my parents and got one. There were 4 fish in my container (later there were 13, 37 snails and they wouldn't die! but that's a different story for a different time). I don't remember how old I was but if I look it up, I can connect my age to when certain shows were on tv. My dad told me 2 of the fish were girls and 2 were boys. (Years later he told me he just guessed for fun.) I had a big decision to make, FOUR names! After a long decision-making process I settled on Jenna, Jaws, Jewler and Josh. Reflecting on this it's funny because I'm now friends with a Jenna and a Josh. Jenna from Survivor: The Amazon which was on in 2003. I supported Jenna from the start and she was my favorite. Josh from Big Brother, the first season. He ended up being the runner-up and I loved him because he was funny. Jaws is obviously the infamous shark from the infamous shark movie. It was my 10 year old attempt at irony naming a fish smaller than my pinky after a giant man-eating shark. Jewler is my aunt Sue's childhood fish's name that she accidentally killed. My dad would tell me stories from his childhood every night before I went to bed and that was my favorite one. Also, I was anal as a child seeing as all of the names had to start with the letter J.

Back to names. It's really hard for me to not ~waste~ names on pets. Aly is my transgendered cat. Aly had about 4 name changes. First, she was Lavender (Brown from the Harry Potter series). My mom ended up hating it because it was hard to call out. Then, she was Charlotte, which is a name I used to love. But my old friend Megan (Bradley, lol) had a stuffed bear named that and it had awkward meanings. Aly it is! Then we found out months later that she was really a he. We attempted Alan, but had to change it because it reminded me of a smelly boy in my classes. Ollie (short for Oliver) didn't last long at all and Aly was Aly the boy cat. I learned my name lesson from that and became decisive after Aly.


Lily is a name I loveeee. It is really meaningful to me because of Lily Potter. It symbolizes the Harry Potter series which helped me love reading again in the 6th grade. Also, Lily Allen and her third nipples and drinking problems are hilarious to me.

I didn't mean to be so elaborate about my old pets' names, but here I am. Here is a list of names I love right now and their meanings according to babynames.com. I have an account on their too? Such a freak.

LAYLA This is my favorite name for a girl. I think it's just really sweet and girly. I think about naming all my children after songs sometimes. Layla means night or black - which I didn't know until now. Black bitch.
GABY Shortened from Gabriella. I like names that end in As and Ys, this does both. I can imagine this name in the future for some reason. Gaby means God is my strength...random.
AMELIA I was almost named this, it was my dad's idea. I love Amelia Earhart tremendously and think this name is adorable. This is the only girl name on my list that I actually have looked up the meaning before and it means to strive or to excel. Yay.
SASHA This name is sassy. I was a sassy child, and I would assume my future child would be a sassy brat at times. Sasha means defender of the leader. Aw, a little leader. hahaha

BEN Short for Benjamin obviously, but I don't really like Benjamin and would rather just name him Ben. I found this name when I searched for names that meant helpful, and this came up since it means "son of my right hand", like a right-hand man. Every boy I've ever met that was named Ben was really kind, polite and helpful.
JAMES I like strong, traditional names and this is definitely an example. I think this name is really cute, but only when the boy is actually called James. Not Jim, like my terrible step dad - EW.
PARKER I've liked this name since junior high. I'm not going to bother looking this up because I'm almost positive it means the one who cares for a park.

Time to do my current event that I would have forgotten about if JV didn't post that status! ahh.

Fredrick and Georgia

I'm convinced I will have boy/girl twins when I'm older. How ridiculous would it be to have their middle names be Fredrick and Georgia?!

An Open Letter to Laurel:

hahaha, not that kind of open letter.

Laurel, I'm loving that your splish splash is over and that we keep having lots of fun together. :] It's like old times and I luhhhhhhhvb it. haha

careercruising.com

so, i went on career cruising today for fun.

tell me why no matter how many times throughout the years i've taken the career matchmaker test...something called communication specialist is always in my top two. it's been my number one match all year and i think i've taken this test about three times during senior year.

why? i don't like it.

also, i have no clue what i want to be these days. absolutely no direction. it's strange and i've scarcely been in this state since kindergarten. i have a few ideas, but who knows.

on my most recent matchmaker test that i just took, the following options struck my fancy. i love that saying.

event planner
planning, controlling, budgeting, blackberry-ing, persuading, dressing cute, shopping, living in a big city, micro-managing, spreadsheets - need i say more?

elementary school teacher
i feel like laurel when saying that is an option. i've become freakishly good at ~dealing~ with things lately. i may seem like an unlikely candidate for this job, ya swearing, ya true, but i wanted to be a teacher until sophomore year when i joined commoner and ditched teaching for journalism. but now that i've ditched journalism, why not go back to the career i always wanted. maybe I will be the one with a white picket fence, 2.5 kids and a dog.

megan is pooping her pants and eating cookies.

1. i need to move out.

2. i'm tempted to have my dad break the news to my mom on sunday, aka mother's day, to be extra evil.

3. i'm tired.

4. i want anchorman to load.

5. i need my prom dress.

6. i hate bitches.

i love

that megan and i haven't fought or been bitchy towards each other at all. the only bad thing about this vacation is my mom and jim, other than that it's great.

the way my hair feels underwater.

going upside down on roller coasters

that universal studios is getting a harry potter world for 2010

that legally blonde the musical is coming to seattle

megan's indie music that is playing

the hulk roller coaster that we went on yesterday that was incredible


how soaked we got on a "kiddy" log ride and how i was in the front

how the 2nd row on jurassic park doesn't get wet at all and how we went on again but sat in the front row

that 4 years ago i would never have gone on any of these rides because i used to be so afraid of them

how every time that we went on dueling dragons, our toes went numb

i hate

not having the control

people trying to be insightful

people trying to be insightful, intriguing, unique online/blogs/text when they aren't

the sticky, greasy feeling on your skin after you put sunscreen on

not having money

feeling helpless in some situations

not knowing where i am going to live

worrying about my mom taking away everything i own when my dad calls her to say i want to live with him. goodbye fun, goodbye ruining the end of my senior year. fuck.

feeling so overwhelmed by everything that i just want to let the current take me out to sea forever